October again – a poem by Jude Davies

October 15th… again

Two years ago today I laid in bed as other parents lit candles to create a wave of light. 

I knew you were leaving me. 

Two years ago today you entered the world too small to survive.  So tiny, but you filled my heart with love. So much love. But then my heart broke. You took some of it with you. 

It’s all very well for you sitting up there on a star, seeing me, seeing us. I’m down here, pining for you. Loving you, missing you. I wish I could see you, to know you, to hold you in my arms. 

Do you know how much you are loved? If only love could have saved you, you’d be here with us. 

I didn’t just lose a baby that day, i didn’t just have a miscarriage, I lost a baby, a toddler, a child, a teenager and an adult. I lost a part of me, a part of my husband. I lost our future. That day my child died. 

Jude Davies